Now that you’ve spent some time identifying your negative thoughts from that nagging inner-critic, what are you gonna do about it?
When we feel unhappy, overwhelmed, depressed, or anxious, the feeling is a product of the thoughts we have about our situation, not the situation itself.
And this is good news! Because while you can’t always control your environment, you can exercise some control over these thoughts. Small shifts in perception and mindset can help to turn things around. Here are some strategies to try the next time your inner critic is on a rampage.
Observe them
If you read last week’s post, you’ve already done this! Simply identify your thoughts that are negative, and give them the space to exist without judgment. Just observe them.
You might also try sitting with the thoughts and observing the feelings that arise - emotionally and physically. A brief body scan pairs well with this observant activity.
Challenge them
This is less passive then the first strategy. Look at the content of the thought and ask, is this really true? Could I be overthinking/assuming/exaggerating?
And also is it permanent? Will I feel differently about this in one hour? One week? One year?
Spin them
Try to shift perspectives and see, is there any other way to look at this situation that would be less upsetting? Is there anything positive here?
Box them up
If you find you can’t spin the thought, feel free to box it up for later in order to get on with your day.
You could do this by thought-stopping (actively telling your inner-critic “stop!”) or for some, it helps to actually visualize placing the issue in a box and putting it away for later. Just remember to come back and unbox it when you are feeling up to the challenge.
Crowd them out
There's a reason the phrase “Go to your happy place” is a cliche in mental health care. It might elicit an eye roll, but shifting your mental focus away from the negative thoughts does help.
You can internally crowd out the thoughts by thinking of happy memories, or just lighter, even humorous topics. Externally, you distract yourself by engaging in an activity that releases your feel-good chemicals, whether that's having a cup of tea, going for a run, meeting up with a friend, etc.
As always – treat yourself with kindness.
When you catch that inner-critic harassing you, counteract that with compassion and care. If you're having a hard time telling yourself kind things, try a self-love meditation like this one.
Remind yourself that you are enough, that you are trying, that you are human and you are worthy of love and kindness.
Do you feel like your negative thoughts are preventing you from living your best life? Do you find yourself in thought spirals of self-criticism? Working with a therapist is a great way to start taming that inner-critic in a safe, judgement free space.
Kathleen is a mental health professional in St. Louis, MO. She specializes in the treatment of depression and anxiety in adults, college students, and high school students. You can contact her office by phone: 314-499-2994, or email: kathleen@newleafstl.com.